Why ‘Kindness’ Can Backfire

“What Are Your Spiritual Gifts?” Every time I filled out one of those evaluations I scored highest on the ‘gift’ of mercy. For me, this ‘gift’ felt more like a curse. I would do someone a favor and it would become an expectation. I would come up with a brilliant idea and someone else would…

Choices

Several years ago I came home in tears, feeling hopeless and defeated after getting another traffic ticket following a road rage incident. “I don’t know what to do” I said to my husband “I give up!” “What lane were you in?” He asked. “The Fast Lane,” I said. “Why don’t you just move over,” He…

Poor Boundaries and Anger

Boundaries God laid the word on my heart years ago. Almost a decade had passed since I kicked a hole in a door, or threw a jar of spaghetti against the wall (yes I actually did this once) but I still couldn’t seem to overcome my anger in certain areas of my life. The problem…

When God’s Timing Meets Ours

I asked God to give me a husband and He did, after way too many years of loneliness. I asked God to help me get sober and He did, a thousand regrets later than I wanted. I asked God help me find me the right job and He did, after at least a dozen wrong…

Why I Believed My Feelings Didn’t Matter

For most of my life I was unable to identify my feelings. Therapists or friends would say things like: “…and how does that make you feel.” “I don’t know.” I would say. It never occurred to me not knowing how I felt was out of the ordinary. The belief that my feelings were insignificant was…

Relationships: When You Can’t See the Forest for the Trees

Ever wonder why it’s taken you years to recognize an unhealthy situation involving a friend or family member? We all know the saying: “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” How do you know what a healthy family looks like if all you’ve experienced is a dysfunctional one? How do you know what a…

God Can Give You a New Family

In Psalm 68 we’re told that God is: “A father to the fatherless,” “A defender of widows,” and that He: “sets the lonely in families.” Sometimes abuse, addiction, infidelity, death, or dysfunction make it impossible for us to have a healthy relationship with our paternal or maternal families. Just as it says in Genesis that…