Ephesians 4:32 tells us to forgive one another as Christ forgave us. When we don’t it can harm us more than our transgressors because bitterness and resentment are damaging to our mind, body and spirit. When we don’t forgive, we remain a victim of the offense, giving the offender tremendous power over us.
Knowing this, why would anyone choose not to forgive?
- In some relationships there’s an unequal balance of power. If our self-worth is wrapped up in the relationship, the betrayal can feel deeply painful making it harder than normal to forgive.
- Sometimes choosing not to forgive can keep us from looking at our part in the relationship or situation.
- Remaining a ‘victim’ of the offense can garner attention or sympathy from others.
- We may feel it’s safer not to forgive than to open ourselves up to being hurt again.
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