That’s what the old woman said when I asked her secret to 57 years of marriage.
For many people marriage (and life) is a battle of wills with no one prepared to surrender. Sometimes it takes more courage to give up your ‘right to be right’ than it does to destroy a relationship because you won’t back down.
It’s not always about the toothpaste or the toilet seat. Sometimes it’s about painful childhood wounds that cause us to harden our heart and make a solemn vow to never need anyone.
In my case, the ‘fruits’ of this stubborn determination brought me anger, rage, panic attacks, broken relationships, and addiction.
I was hiding behind a false wall of pride build out of the fear of getting hurt and it needed to be shattered.
Step 3 in the 12 steps of recovery reads: “Made a conscious decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God” – the ultimate submission.
It’s been over 9 years since I took that step and today I have a radically different life because of it.
God, the greatest force in the universe, is the one who taught me to surrender. The fruits of this resolution brought love, peace, friendship, and a happy marriage.
“You give a little, he give a little.”
She’s right you know.